3/16  Anna, Amanda, Kyle and I depart Ithaca around 1pm in a raging snowstorm.  The storm continues as we drive south.  After 10 hours of driving (and listening to the trip's theme song multiple times), we have only reached Maryland.  I call Rachel and she graciously offers her basement.  We crash there for the night.

Sister Christian, oh the time has come.
And you know that you're the only one to say O.K.
Where you going? What you looking for?
You know those boys don't want to play no more with you.
It's true.

You're motoring. What's your price for flight?
In finding mister right. You'll be alright tonight.

Babe you know you're growing up so fast.
And mama's worrying that you won't last to say let's play.
Sister Christian there's so much in life.
Don't you give it up before your time is due.
It's true. It's true, yeah.

Motoring. What's your price for flight?
You've got him in your sight and driving thru the night.
Motoring. What's your price for flight?
In finding mister right. You'll be alright tonight.

Sister Christian, oh the time has come.
And you know that you're the only one to say O.K.
But you're motoring. You're motoring.
       --Night Ranger

3/17 Sun is out and roads are clear.  After pancakes (thanks Rachel!) we depart and continue south.  We reach Stone Mountain State Park in North Carolina right at 7pm (Jason, it took us exactly four hours from your house driving at a reasonable speed and with one gas stop).  We get a tent camping site ($15/site/night) setup our tent and eat dinner.  Then we bundle up in our sleeping bags and watch Boondocks Saints on Anna's computer.  Temperatures at night get well below freezing.

I refuse to take spiritual advice from a truck.  --Me

3/18  Candy Mountain!  No... wait... Stone Mountain!  Stone Mountain!  Let's climb!  Weather is cold, but sunny and dry.  Anna and I want to climb The Great Arch (5.5) which is the most visible line on the mountain.  To do this we climb USlot (5.7) from the base of the cliff up to Tree Ledge.  I move left pull straight through the roof to avoid water on the route.  This is intimidating, but not particularly hard.  The climb is about 210' and we simul the last bit so I can anchor at the base of The Great Arch.  We are racing a party of three that was climbing Entrance Crack to Tree Ledge.  They had already started Entrance Crack when we arrived, but we are much quicker and I reach the first belay on The Great Arch before they even get to the base of the climb.  We zip up the three pitches of The Great Arch pretty easily.  Even though the protection is totally G rated, the climb takes mostly #2 and #3 camalots.  One #2 is the biggest cam I have with me, so the climb is a bit runout. But never harder than 5.5, so no problem.  The only scary part is when I spot a viper a few feet above me.  The snake disappears in a crack.  I place some gear near that spot and tell Anna to use the gear as a reference to take extra care if going for a hand jam.

We reach the top of The Great Arch and hang out waiting for Kyle and Amanda who are climbing a parallel route.  The four of us walk down.  Then Anna and I go to climb Grand Funk Railroad (5.9-).  After talking to a local, we decide to only climb the first two pitches (5.9- and 5.8) since the rest of the route is less interesting low angle slab climbing.  The first pitch is exciting!  About 100' long with two bolts the whole way.  First bolt comes after 30' of hard climbing off the ground.  Then a long traverse right and up to the second bolt.  Easier climbing from there to the belay.  The second pitch is more mellow with two bolts in 80' of 5.8 climbing.  The experience certainly gives me sympathy for Kyle who is leading Great White Way at the time.  It has a 120' 5.8 pitch with only one bolt midway (and doesn't even warrant an R rating in the guidebook).  Stone Mountain is known for runout slabs, and the reputation is warranted.  The climbing really reminds me of Snake Dike on Half Dome in Yosemite.

After rappelling off Grand Funk Railroad, we climb the first pitch of Electric Boobs (5.9+).  This is a well protected pitch with 3 bolts over 85'.  The pitch is a real blast!  My favorite pitch at Stone Mountain.  Very step and pure friction climbing, but there always seems to be a bolt just where you desperately need one.

The four of us meet up and we head back to camp for dinner.  Then we watch the last bit of Boondocks Saints and one episode of The Office.

My mom leashed my sister and I together.  --Anna

3/19 It is still cold, but slightly warmer than yesterday.  Still sunny and dry with gusty winds.  Anna and I climb The Pulpit (5.8).  My guidebook says this is the best protected route at Stone Mountain.  Which is funny since there is obvious groundfall potential at 40'.  We climb the first 2.5 pitches of The Pulpit, then the route crosses a small stream coursing down the cliff.  I avoid the water and switch to Autumn Speak (5.9) for the final 2.5 pitches.

We hang out at the top and take a nice nap in the sun.  Eventually we walk to the base where Anna finds a booty sling and three biners near the bathroom.  Score!  Anna sets up her hammock and we relax while waiting for Kyle and Amanda.  They arrive and Anna notices that Kyle's gear is marked the same as the booty she found.  Disappointed but honest, Anna gives the gear to Kyle, who is very grateful that it was found.

We pack the car, stop for some ice cream, and drive to Red River Gorge.  We arrive at Miguel's around 3am and setup our tent in the pouring rain.

Vanilla shampoo just makes me want to lick her head.  --Me

3/20  Tired from the late night, we sleep until around 10am.  Finally the rest of the Cornell contingent (17 people, most of whom arrived late on the 18th) impatiently wakes us.  The rain has stopped, but everything is wet.  We head to Military Wall hoping the overhang has kept some routes dry.  No luck.  Condensation and seepage has left everything soaking.  Oh well, we came to climb.  Anna leads Possum Lips (5.10d) which is pretty much impossible in soaking wet conditions.  She gets to the third bolt, then lowers off.  I go up and finish the climb, but only after spending five minutes with chalk and a toothbrush cleaning a crucial foothold.

Then Shern belays me on Sunshine (5.9+).  My goal is to get up this soaking wet climb so others can climb it on toprope.  That turns out to be a bad idea.  I grease off the holds above the first bolt and smack my ankle.  I'm done for the day.

I spend the rest of the day with my ankle propped up on a rock, cooled with my platypus water bladder.  When I feel ok to hobble, I do some anchor building exercises with Anna and Amanda.  Eventually we hike (hobble) back to the trailhead and return to Miguel's where we eat dinner and play a few rounds of Psoy before retiring for the night.

Is it a tunnel or nada tunnel?  --Amanda

Like any good Wilderness First Responder, I know to RICE my soft tissue injury.  RICE = Request Ibuprofen, Climb Everyday  --Me

3/21  My ankle is purple and swollen to twice its usual size.  Oh well, we came to climb.  We head to Rebel Hollow in Muir Valley.  Anna leads the start of CH4 (5.7) but decides it is too wet to continue.  So we head over to Rat Stew (5.10a) where someone has set a rope.  We both go up the climb.  I'm pretty happy with my ability to use my ankle for face climbing (though foot jams are clearly out).  Then we pull the rope and Anna leads the route.  Her first full pitch of sport leading!  Then Anna climbs Working for the Weekend (5.10b) which already has a rope on it.  After that I lead Critters on the Cliff (5.11a) and get the onsight.  This climb feels much easier than 5.11a (though it actually gets a 5.11b in my older guidebook) but I'm still going to count it as my first 5.11 onsight.  Very excited!  For the past year I've been capable of onsighting 5.11, but I've always managed to miss the onsight for one reason or another (slip off an easy hold, followed the climb first, climb I had worked years earlier... it is always something).  So this is very satisfying.  Very satisfying!  Especially on a purple and puffy ankle.  Then to prove that my ankle can take more punishment, I lead Working for the Weekend (and get the onsight) and climb Return of Manimal (5.10d) on toprope.  Anna finishes our day by climbing Critters on the Cliff cleanly on toprope.

Weather is crazy warm.  Most years for spring break we bundle up and climb in the rain and snow.  Today it is sunny and warm with no wind.  T-shirt weather.  These conditions will continue for the rest of the week.

We head back to Miguel's and make our best dinner of the trip (veggies and rice in Thai coconut peanut sauce, pears and chocolate sauce for dessert).  Then we watch some episodes of The Office and play a half dozen hands of Cames before going to sleep.

How's your hex life?  --Andy

Let me see if I can find you a load bearing cracker  --Andy

3/22  We head to Fortress Wall for some trad climbing.  All of the climbs I do are repeats of climbs I did in March 2005 with Alana, but they are all fun and I don't mind a bit.  Anna and I swing leads on the Bedtime for Bonzo (5.6).  This is Anna's first trad lead and she easily onsights the climb.  We have a second rope for the rappel, but our knot gets stuck and I have to ascend the ropes to fix the problem.  Oh well, it wouldn't be a climbing trip if someone didn't have to ascend ropes at some point.

After that, Anna follows Vijay on Bombs Bursting (5.8).  Then we climb Serpent (5.10b) which is one of my favorite climbs at Red River Gorge.  We stay on a narrow line directly below the anchors and don't go right towards Calypso III.  This makes the climb feel much more like 5.11.  It is one of the most delicate face climbs I've ever done.

Interestingly, the current guidebook has Calypso III rated at 5.5.  Back in 2005 when I led this climb it was rated 5.2.  At that time I wrote this in my trip report, "Calypso III is the only 5.2 I have ever climbed. Ever. It felt harder in places than most 5.3 and 5.4 climbs I've done ... Calypso III felt like 5.2d"  So can I do my "I was right" victory dance now?

Help me, I can't get down! Aaah! Aaah!  --Kyle, jokingly waving his arms up and down on top a very manageable boulder

I just got serious heat friction in my butt crack!  --Kyle, after coming down from the boulder using a dulfersitz rappel

Sure, you're welcome to come.  I don't mind spectators.  --Kyle
Yes, because I only came down here to watch YOU climb.  --Me, sarcastically
     Kyle looks completely bewildered

3/23  Off to Motherload.  This is the most amazing collection of hard climbs at Red River Gorge.  The "warmup wall" has a few 5.11 climbs.  Everything else is harder.  We start at warmup wall.  I lead Breathe Right (5.11c) and get totally worked.  I make it to the fourth bolt before lowering.  Kyle leads Injured Reserved (5.11a) so that Amanda and Anna can climb it on toprope.  Then Kyle leads Convicted (5.13a) with only a few hangs.  I attempt to follow the climb and reach the first bolt.  Then back to warmup wall where I go back to Breathe Right.  I get one more bolt and past the crux before having to lower again.  But at this point I have the sequence and I'm certain I could redpoint the climb if I came back to it (which I rarely do because I don't much care about redpointing climbs).  Kyle leads 40 Ounces of Justice (5.13a) which is a very long, steep climb.  He gets to the anchors, then has to downclimb/drop a few bolts in order to lower to the ground (all the 5.13s in this area have prehung draws).  I attempt the climb on toprope and get nowhere.  Finally we head back to warmup wall where I climb Injured Reserve and mange to unlock the crux sequence after a few tries.  Anna gets on Injured Reserve and climbs it again.  Kyle finishes Breathe Right and I clean it, but with much hanging.  Then Kyle leads Trust in Jesus (5.11b).  I'm planning to follow the climb, but I'm so exhausted that it is all I can do to batman up the climb to clean it.

Take!  Take me hard!  --Kyle
What did he say?  --Amanda
Um... he said to take him... hard.  --Anna

Take me now!  --Me
I can't!  --Anna, in desperation

What climb is this?  Cannibal Holocaust?  --Me
No.  This is Convicted.  --Amanda
     ... Later ...
Are you climbing Cannibal Holocaust?  --Me
This is Injured Reserve.  There is no climb here called Cannibal Holocaust.  --Amanda
Oh.  Really?  --Me
Yes.  Wouldn't the name "Cannibal Holocaust" be offensive?  --Amanda
No.  --Me

3/24  Last day of climbing.  We head to The Great Wall in Muir Valley.  Anna leads Glory and Consequences (5.7) and I clean the climb.  Then Anna leads Bitter Ray of Sunshine (5.10d) which is her hardest onsight.  Anna cleans the draws and we pull the rope so I can lead the climb too, and I get the onsight.  Amanda and Kyle return from the far right section of the cliff and Amanda leads Glory and Consequences.  Then Anna leads Touch of Grey (5.11a) and gets the first three bolts.  I head up and get one more bolt and mange to pass the crux with no hangs.  But I'm still beat from yesterday and just not motivated to finish the climb.  So I lower and Kyle cleans the climb.

We leave the cliff by 2pm and head back to Miguel's to pack our gear.  By 3pm we are on the road for Ithaca.  We reach Ithaca at 5am the next morning, exhausted but very happy.

This reminds me of something from my childhood.  --Anna, walking on a very muddy trail
Mud?  --Amanda
No, it was squishy and got all over the place.  --Anna
Mud?  --Amanda
No... yeah... yeah, maybe it WAS mud!  --Anna