"FTA" --Me

"I really like mountain biking" --Rob

"Suck it, Kenny" --France

"Diet Trip" --DKatz

"Where's your fingers?" "Sure does."

"We should climb the first five pitches of Eagle Dance next"

If you are tired, don't be tired.

Are you going rappelling?

Also this for Andrew

And this for Katie

3/10 - 3/15
Driving across the country (with a Sprinter stop at Dr. A's in Pittsburgh). The United States is really big. Game of Thrones book four and the first two chapters of book five played while I drove. If you are a fan of jeffdeutsch.com (so... that would be Guy) you will remember the Js from Montana that Adam and I shared a campsite with at Devil's Tower. Well I pull into the Red Rocks campground looking to save some coin by sharing a site. The very first site I walk up to... "Hey, we know you. We remember your van." I pick up Tammy at the airport and we settle in to our campsite.

3/16
We climb Group Therapy (5.7R). Tammy leads pitch 1&3, and I get 2 and 4-7. We have a ton of big gear... two #3s, one #4, one #5 and two #6. The rack is insanely heavy and bulky. But it does protect most of the climb. Pitch 5 still has a long runout, but it is easy climbing. The big gear made the other terror pitches mild R where they are usually scary R/X.

3/17
We hike up to Ginger Buttress to climb Unimpeachable Groping (5.10b). I lead the whole climb and really enjoy it. Even get a booty #0 Camalot C3 with only about three minutes of work. Yup, a stuck cam on a sport climb. Flawless condition too. BTW, the Handren guidebook is wrong about the anchors on the climb. Pitch 3 goes through the roof, there is no anchor on the ledge. And there are bonus anchors early on p4 (p5 in the book) and at the end of p5 (p6 in the book).

Unimpeachable Groping is one of the best climbs I've done here. Similar to Prince of Darkness, but more varied and with a HUGE roof. My feet were killing me by the time we came down... tight shoes, six pitches of small edges, and close quarters on the rappel :)

Super windy at night. The boch served for cooking dinner, but still nearly blew off the table even though it was weighted with huge rocks. Tents are blowing all over the place. People are jumping into their cars and bailing out of here in droves. I wouldn't be surprised if not a tent was standing in the morning and the campground was mostly empty. Moby is rocking like crazy, but is a wonderful place to spend the night. #vanlife

3/18
Set out to climb Y2K. It was still pretty windy and temperatures dropped about 10 degrees. Tolerable climbing conditions, but not as nice as yesterday. We hiked to the base of Y2K planning to climb just the first two pitches. The final two pitches are specifically not recommended by Supertopo. I led the first pitch which has a really fun roof. Tammy followed and we decided to go down from there. I was really cold. Not so cold that I couldn't climb the next pitch, but cold enough that I didn't WANT to climb the next pitch. After that we relaxed for a bit and packed gear for Dream of Wild Turkeys. We drove to the Black Velvet trailhead and settled in early so we could wake early.

3/19
Dream of Wild Turkeys is a popular climb. We were up early and were still the third in line for the climb. At least three or four parties showed up after us wanting to climb it too. Tammy led pitches 1,3,5. I led pitches 2,4,6,7. I got the crux cleanly this time which was a thrill for me. We rappelled Prince of Darkness in four rappels. The top two pitches and the bottom two pitches both link with a pair of 60m ropes.

After that it was the start of our rest day. Silverton hotel, Riviera hotel, Cirque du Soleil :) :) :)

3/20
Rest day!

3/21
Off to Great Red Book. I remember Josh telling me about shenanigans with rap anchors there. Yup... you pretty much can't get down from anything. Tammy led Tomato Amnesia (5.9) which was runout, but actually had rap rings at the anchors. Then I led the first pitch of Great Red Book (5.7). We had planned to do the whole thing, but came down when someone told us there were no rap rings on the p2 anchors. We didn't have our approach shoes and didn't want to walk off in climbing shoes. Then Tammy led Chips Ahoy (5.9) which was also runout. Massive shenanigans to get down from that anchor. Then I climbed p1 of GRB again to rescue someone's gear. He had bailed and left $150 of brand new cams in the bail anchor. He was glad to get them back. And I earned some serious karma points. 150 karma points.

3/22
Went to Conundrum for some sport climbing. Climbed Family Affair (5.8), Family Circus (5.9) and Wayward Son (5.9). Then got on Drilling Miss Daisy (5.11a). Redpointed it for the first time ever. Felt good because that climb was such a struggle the last time I got on it. Climbed it again cleanly on TR to retrieve the draws.

In the evening we drove to the airport to get Rob, Andrew, Brennen, and Ben. Instructor week begins!

3/23
The other instructors went to work on Geronimo and Olive Oil. Tammy and I did the long long long hike to Brownstone Wall and climbed Armatron (5.9). Great climb, but you have to be in the mood for a long hike. Or climb Myster Z which tops out at the base of Armatron.

"I'm going to do something smart... Owwww!!! I just burned my hand!" --Ben

3/24
Birdland with Rob and Tammy. P2&3 link on rappel with a pair of 60m ropes. I don't think I knew that before. Fun day. Really hot. After coming down we went to check out Straight Shooter (5.9+++) which kills me every time.

3/25
Lotta Balls with Rob and Andrew. Then first lead practice on Romper Room.

3/26
Sport crag tour. I led one 5.9 at Dark Corridor to keep it from being a rest day :)

3/27
Solar Slab with Ben and Brennen. Since I wasn't planning to lead anything, I climbed the whole thing in approach shoes. Good day.

Also, this happened.

3/28
Rest Day!

3/29
The day starts with a 90 minute delay at Budget where we try to get our reserved rental cars. They have the reservations but it still takes forever and the contract information is all wrong. The agent is friendly enough. She is impressed that we are climbing and camping. Though I realize that she has no idea what it means when she asks, "And which hotel are you staying at?" I reply that we are camping. She says, "Yes, yes, but which hotel are you staying at?" Ummmm... that word doesn't mean what you think it means.

We get the students at the airport and take the earliest arrivals to Cannibal crag for a bit of climbing. I lead the soft 10a on the backside to set one toprope (I'm just throwing that in so I can keep count of my pitches for the trip).

3/30
First Creek with the whole crew. I bail off Lotta Balls with Sam and Peter as the wind really picks up. We help another party down and Jamie and Ben also use our anchor to descend. As soon as everyone is on the ground, the wind stops and the sun comes out.

After that, I climbed Doobie Dance to clean a stuck nut, and Romper Room to clean a stuck cam. Then I led Kindergarten Cop with Peter and Jamie. Really good climb, but very runout.

3/31
Climbed Birdland with Dan and Jamie. My booty #0 C3 tried to get stuck again, but I managed to wiggle it out. With the wind in the afternoon, the rappels were a mess of stuck ropes. Best rappel strategy I've got for this climb: p5&4 2x60m, p3 2x60m (could be one rope, but not worth untying for one rappel), p2 2x60m, p1 1x60m.

4/1
Lots of wind overnight. I think all the COE four person tents are torn at this point. Not good. Went to Conundrum with Sam, Tizoc, Garrett and Peter. Climbed all three warm up sport climbs, then did two laps on Drilling Miss Daisy (didn't get the lead cleanly though... grrrr!) After, we went to set topropes on Atman and Yin Yang.

4/2
Snowlar Slab with Josh and Jamie. It started snowing at 7:30am. Around 12:30pm (when we were 1150' up the climb at hot girl ledge) the light flurries turned to a blizzard. As the snow melted on the rock we experienced full waterfalls on either side of our route. We bailed. It was epic. Also, I found the great 2x60m rappel from the Johnny Vegas boulder to the sandy ledge in Solar Slab gully. From there it is three easy single rope rappels to the ground. Rappel Win #1.

4/3
Climbed Birdland and the first pitch of Y2K with Roger and Garrett. Got to climb p3 a second time to clean a stuck nut (note for pitch count). Also, my Birdland rappel strategy worked perfectly! Rappel Win #2.

4/4
Climbed Unimpeachable Groping with Tizoc and Kenny. From the anchor just below the Ginger Cracks ledge, 2x60m gets to the p3 anchor. From there 2x60m (plus rope stretch) gets to the p1 anchor. 2x60m easily gets to the ground from there. Rappel Win #3!

After that we climbed Straight Shooter (which is much less scary with a #1 C3 to protect the crux moves). And I set a toprope on The Lazy Fireman so the boys could get one last burn as the class ended. We reached the parking lot just as it became headlamp o'clock.

4/5
Up at 4:20am to take Jamie to the airport. Then more casual airport runs with the rest of the students. Shower and food rounded out the day.

4/6
Rest day. I washed my pants. They were dirty. Really dirty.

Getting ready to retrieve Jeanine from the airport tonight and Josh tomorrow afternoon.

Also, I've got 92 pitches at this point in the trip. I'm already over quota! 92 pitches... and time to climb Levitation 29? Ooooo!!!!

4/7
Picked up Josh at the airport. Drove straight to the Pine Creek trailhead and climbed Out Of Control in a party of three with Jeanine. Josh led it. Hard climb! Josh doesn't like to ease into things.

4/8
Levitation 29! The crux of my whole trip! The thing I've been training for three months straight in hopes of climbing!

But first, I have to get up at 4am to take Ben to the airport. That's five airport runs in four days if you are counting. Five even if you aren't counting.

Back to Levitation!
We take the fastest approach I know. Low fifth class up the crack to the IBM boulder, then over the shoulder to Levitation. It takes about 2.5 hours parking on 159. Then we get on the climb. Josh leads all the hard pitches: 2, 5, 6 and 7. I get the rest: 1, 3, 4, 8 and 9. I take a lead fall on the first pitch... an inauspicious start. My first lead fall on gear in ages. But I go right back up and pull the move. Josh takes a lead fall at the crux of pitch 2. Then he goes up and sends the move. Those are our only two falls. Josh has to take a few times on the harder pitches. I hang once at the p2 crux and can barely get up p5 even with a rope assist. But I'm happy to have climbed p6 and p7 cleanly on toprope. That felt like the absolute limit of my climbing at this point in my life.

Dan and Allison climb behind us and we join ropes for the rappels. We are back to camp around 10pm. An 18 hour day. And totally worth it. I've been wanting to climb Levitation for ages, but knew I needed a strong partner to lead the crux pitches. Thanks Josh! It was a really stellar climb. Even though remote (by Red Rocks standards) the bolted pitches and belays kept the commitment level low. Really a fun outing.

4/9
Not too tight! Not too tight!
Ummm... you are standing on your rope.
Oh. Ok. But the request still stands.
im gud @ sports climbering!

Jeanine and I head to Meetup Wall. We climb Let's Meetup, Safety First, Message Board, and The Pumpkin King. Then we meet with the others at Stone Wall and climb Roto Hammer.

4/10
Black Orpheus. I climb with Josh and Jeanine. Dan and Allison follow us. It goes really smoothly (except for a ton of rope drag while simulclimbing the middle). Baking hot on the lower pitches and shade from the giant corner on the upper pitches. We rappel Solar Slab because we really don't feel like hiking down the painted bowl slabs and scrambling through the wash again. Takes us about 3:20 from the summit to the car by going down Solar Slab. The walk is probably a bit faster and safer, but lots more energy.

4/11
Rest day. 118 pitches so far. Climbing 22 of the past 25 days.

4/12
Dream of Wild Turkeys with Jeanine and Dave. The squirrels unzip the brain of my pack and eat duct tape, pepto bismol pills, and an (empty) poop bag. They chewed through a mini Nalgene bottle to taste my sunscreen. At least they unzipped the pack instead of chewing through it.

On the climb, I link p5 and p6 for a really fun, long, fully bolted pitch.

4/13
Head to Cannibal Crag in the morning and I finally get the shot on Caustic that I've wanted for years. Funny story: I'm totally pumped from not doing a warmup climb and from campusing for the photo. I hang at every bolt and take a fall down low on the second bolt. It takes a few tries to clip the chains because I'm so tired. On my final go, I actually break a large foothold off the climb... and end up campusing from the same jugs I was using for my photo op! So it was good I had practiced the move.

After that, I take Jeanine to the airport and use the rest of the day to charge my computer, update photos and rest my sore feet.

4/14
Head to the airport to get Katie. We drive straight to the loop road and are at the Pine Creek trailhead by 10:30am. It is possibly the last cool day until November, so I figure it is Katie's one shot at Birdland. Apparently everyone else thought so too. There are parties are every single belay. And a party starting up the first pitch. But they plan to just climb the first pitch. So we go up as they rappel. We manage to get up the second pitch. From there we traverse to Big Horn and climb that crack. Then we rappel back to Birdland. At that point we can climb the third pitch. From there we just go down. Good choice because after we rappel to the ground and walk back to the car, the other parties haven't moved at all. Ugh...

4/15
Josh heads to the airport. Katie and I climb Purblind Pillar. Better than Tunnel Vision, but not as good as Group Therapy. In any case, Angel Food Wall has some quality climbs.

4/16
We head to Black Corridor and climb Bon EZ, Heavy Hitter, Vagabonds, Bonaire and then Glitter Gulch. We head to the airport late at night to get Sammy. It was going to be a rest day...

4/17
The three of us head to Cannibal and do the easy climbs on the shaded side of the boulder. Then we head to Conundrum and climb Don't Laugh At Me Dude while waiting for Drilling Miss Daisy to come into the shade. It sucks. Should have just sat in the shade. But then we climb DMD. I can lead it with the second bolt clipped. Which is pretty wimpy. But I climb it twice more on TR which is pretty cool (and wimpy). We finish the day on Family Affair (where Sammy gets her first lead).

4/18
The three of us climb Dark Shadows and Y2K. Finally get to the top of Y2K. So I never have to do that again. The first pitch is the only one really worth climbing. Then we see a pair of Big Horn Sheep. Which was Katie's goal for the trip. You're welcome!

4/19
Wake at 4am to take Katie to the airport. My last airport run! Had a bunch of errands to run and finished them all by 6:30am. So I went back to sleep. After a pancake breakfast, Sammy and I went to Cowlick Crag where we climbed Cow Lick Company and Flying Chuckwalla.

4/20
Up early to climb Crimson! We are the first party on the climb and nobody else shows up until I'm at the third belay, so we don't see anybody else all day. We are on the summit at 2pm and hang out there for a bit. Then we rappel down through two other parties. Luckily we pass the party of three at the fourth belay... the one with an 8" ledge. We are on the ground around 4:30pm. Weather is perfect all day. Warm and no wind with almost every pitch in complete shade.

Crimson is a really fun climb! I hadn't climbed it yet this trip and forgot how much I enjoyed it! Especially in a party of two moving quickly so you don't have to spend much time hanging.

Oh, and I kept track of my rack for the climb. I brought a bunch of draws so I could link 2&3 and 8&9. I didn't place a single nut (you could, but I deliberately didn't) so next time I won't bring nuts. Single set of cams from #1 C3 (red) to #3 C4 (blue). That's what I'll bring in the future.

4/21
We join up with Chelsea, Chad and Kevin to head to Sandstone Quarry. We take a long (short) walk to The (short) Pier which is completely in the shade. Chad hangs the draws for us and we all work Under The Boardwalk, a really stellar climb. I one hang it on my second go. My third try is worse, so I figure fatigue is getting the best of me and just clean the anchors. Then I take a run up Basement on toprope.

4/22
Rest day! Actual rest day! Torrential winds are forecast. And I'm tired. Climbed 32 of the past 36 days. We get electricity and wifi at the Red Rock Casino and have a great dinner at Origin India, a restaurant in Vegas.

4/23
Rested yesterday... time to climb hard! Maybe! We start at Panty Wall where we warm up on Boxer Rebellion, Sacred Undergarments, and Brief Encounter. Then I lead Totally Clips with two hangs. I climb it again on toprope to clean the route and practice the sequence. After that we head to Second Pullout and I get the redpoint on Glitter Gulch. Rest day has paid off! Then we head to The Pier where I give Under the Boardwalk two more tries. I one hang the first go, and one fall the second go. That last move is just a bit dicey. I can do it easily after hanging on the rope for 60 seconds, but I've never linked it. Oh well. Still a good day. Especially with five laps on 5.11 climbs.

Done with Red Rock, we say goodbye and drive to Zion. We spend the night at a beautiful site in the woods off Grafton Road a few miles from the main entrance to the park.

4/24
With Chad and Chelsea we head to Tiger Stripe wall in Kolob Canyon. The overhanging huecos are totally amazing, but I'm tired. I lead Half Route and Pulp Friction and feel pretty good for just climbing those routes.

After climbing we drive back to St. George and spend the night in the Chuckwalla Wall parking lot.

4/25
We walk two minutes to Chuckwalla Wall. I lead Sands of Blood and climb it again to clean it. Then I lead Apostasy which is a huge sandbag. After that I lead Solace and Tombstone Bullets which are fairly graded and restore my confidence. I'm later told that Apostasy has had a bunch of holds break off and is probably three letter grades harder than its guidebook rating. This restores my confidence even more.

From there we walk a mile to Turtle Wall and actually see a desert tortoise on the way there! Awesome! At Turtle Wall I'm feeling pretty wiped. I climb the very steep Director of Humor Affairs twice on toprope, getting it clean the second time. And I lead Voodoo Economics to finish the day... and finish the trip.

4/26
Rain all night has us fleeing the desert. Storms across the country leave us nowhere to flee. We had planned to take two days to drive to Boulder but the forecast of the three day storm in the rockies makes us push all the way to Denver. It is a long drive in pretty nasty rain and sleet the entire way. As soon as we drop out of the mountains I pull into a Walmart parking lot and go to sleep.

4/27
Windy and grey today. I seem to have bad luck with Colorado weather. We hang out with Tom and Beth and Nate and Scotty. It is a really nice day. And we get to shower!

4/28
Weather is much nicer. Our plan is to climb The Maiden. I'm feeling kinda sick for some reason. I'm slow to get started. We hike straight to The Maiden without getting lost, but I'm too tired to climb. So we hike back to the van and drive to Kansas.

I often take my climbing gear for a nice walk. It likes to get out and have a relaxing day.

4/29 - 5/1
Driving across the country. In the evening I reach Marci's house.

5/2
Hang out with Marci, Alan, Joelle and Lauren for the day.

5/3
Home again, home again, jiggity-jig.

Trip Summary:
191 Pitches Climbed
35 Days Climbing in a 40 Day Period
Calories Burned = 90 Pounds of Peanut M&Ms
Actual Peanut M&M Consumption = 5 Pounds
Non Peanut M&M Calorie Consumption = 85 Pounds Peanut M&M Equivalent

Because this list is useful for me... below are climbs I've done in Red Rocks (single pitch crags in parenthesis):
Frogland, Triassic Sands, Sand Felipe, Prince of Darkness, Dream of Wild Turkeys, Sour Mash, Epinephrine
Lotta Balls, Black Magic, (Romper Room)
Eagle Dance, Levitation 29, Black Orpheus, Johnny Vegas, Solar Slab, Going Nuts
Unimpeachable Groping, Ginger Cracks, Spare Rib, Crimson Chrysalis
Armatron
Olive Oil, Geronimo
Cat in the Hat, Cookie Monster, Y2K, Dark Shadows, Out Of Control, Birdland, Big Horn, Varnishing Point, (Straight Shooter, Brass Wall)
(Icebox Entrance)
(Ragged Edges)
Tunnel Vision, Group Therapy, Purblind Pillar
(The Pier)
(Magic Bus, Dark Corridor, Sweet Pain, Gallery, Great Red Book, Meetup Wall, Stone Wall)
(Panty Wall)
(Moderate Mecca)
Physical Graffiti, Big Bad Wolf
(Cannibal, Cow Lick, Cut Your Teeth, Atman, Gnatman, Caligula, Drilling Miss Daisy)