1/7  Kenny and I fly into Phoenix where we are met by Kristin and Aramy.  (Trivia:  The airports in Syracuse and Chicago now have free WiFi)  We spend the night with Kristin's Grandparents in Scottsdale.  They have trees which produce lemons the size of cantaloupe.  This might just be the strangest thing I see during the entire trip.

1/8  We drive to Joshua Tree with a brief stop in the quirky town of Quartzsite, AZ.  Need a velvet painting of Dogs Playing Poker?  You have several vendors to choose from in Quartzsite.

Arriving in Joshua Tree we grab a campsite in Hidden Valley ($5/site/night) and immediately head out to get one climb before the sun sets.  We head to Cyclops Rock and climb The Eye (5.3).  This is a fun warm up and -- like most other climbs in the park -- is a single pitch trad climb.  I lead the pitch and everyone else follows, then we walk off the back.  Walking back to camp, Aramy notes that, "my feet itch and I'm not wearing socks, but there are rocks in my shoes and they are scratching my feet, so it's all good."

With the sun setting, we head into Twentynine Palms for groceries and water.  Knowing there is no water in the park, we brought containers to hold about 20 gallons.  The cheapest water is the spigot at the park entrance which charges a quarter to spew like a fire hose for 60 seconds.  Be ready with your containers before you insert your quarter.  If you are quick you can collect around ten gallons.  The city of Yucca, CA -- just west of Joshua Tree, CA -- also has grocery stores and is probably a bit closer to the Hidden Valley campground.

As we return to camp we see a coyote prowling around.  Possibly looking for the rabbits which we see almost every single day in our campsite.

1/9  We wake to howling coyotes and warm sunshine.  It is atypically warm today.  We climb in t-shirts all day long.  The four of us head to Intersection Rock.  Kristin and I climb Mike's Books (5.6, two pitches) which is a fun climb with awkward moves.  Then Kenny and I climb Gaz Giz (5.6) which has a huge traverse on the first pitch.  After two pitches we head right and find a short, fun 5.9 face (protected by a slung horn!) which we climb.  We reach the top at the same time as Kristin and Aramy who had climbed Zig Zag.  The four of us rappel together.

As the sun sets, we search out some bouldering in the Intersection Rock area.  We check out Stem Gem, Triangle Boulder and a few others.  Kristin leads us saying, "I'm not sure if this is a trail or a place where people walk."  We finish the day contemplating the zen of that statement.

1/10  First thing after breakfast we hop in the car and drive to Saddle Rock at Sheep Pass.  We want to climb Walk on the Wild Side (5.7+ R) which has recently been featured in Climbing Magazine.  We arrive just after two parties of two.  They appear to not have a huge amount of climbing experience.  Rather than sit and wait, we randomly jump on the next climb to the right.  This turns out to be The Kid (5.10a R).  I struggle a bit with the first move, but then lead the entire climb.  The first runout section is a huge gap between bolts 2 and 3.  Well into groundfall territory, but easy climbing.  The second R-rated bit is near the top (before the fifth bolt?) and involves a long stretch of tricky 5.8 climbing above a nasty fall.  I am very happy to have led the climb.  It is one of my favorite climbs in Joshua Tree.

By the time the four of us have climbed The Kid, the other parties have bailed off Walk on the Wild Side.  So we start up.  I lead the first pitch with Kristin following.  I then stretch the second pitch a full 200' to the chains.  Kristin comes up, then she takes the lead in exploring the descent.  We walk off right, and Kristin finds a two bolt rap anchor in the middle of a slab.  We rappel down this to find another bolted anchor.  This gets us to a boulder field where we can walk back to the base.

We arrive at the base to find Aramy and Kenny with their rope fixed to the first belay anchor.  High winds caused them to bail on the climb (a sensible decision since the climbing is often balance and friction moves far above the last bolt).  Because  the belay anchor is more than 100' off the ground, Aramy needs to prussik back up with our rope so he can set a double rope rappel and retrieve all his gear.

After dinner we pile into my tent to play cards.  We play hearts and psoy.  I'm glad to have everyone warming up my tent.  In fact my tent is warming to the point where we have to take delayering breaks between hands.  Someone mentions that this seems a bit like strip hearts.  Kristin says, "but that's not fair, I'm the only girl.  Wait... maybe that's a good thing."  Anyhow, I am always happy playing cards.  And all I have to do when we are done is crawl into my bag and switch off the headlamp.  Ahhhh!

1/11  Kenny is off to boulder today.  Kristin, Aramy and I head to Lost Horse Area to seek out some of the bigger climbs in the park.  We spend about two hours lost in the valley before we finally figure out where we are... one valley south of where we intended to be.  No worries.  We spot a likely line and find it in the guidebook -- The Swift, 5.7, three pitches.  Kristin does an excellent job leading the first two pitches, and Aramy picks up the last pitch.  We walk off the right side of Lost Horse Wall.  Very fun climb.

Back at camp, we find Kenny, eat dinner, then play cards until it is time for bed.  It has been cold and windy all day.  The temperature drops below freezing at night and will stay continually below freezing at Hidden Valley for the next six days.

1/12  We wake to snow in our campsite.  An inch on the ground in the morning, and more falling while we eat breakfast.  By the time the snow stops, we have over 2 inches of accumulation.  A rest day is in order.  We head to Nomad Ventures, the gear shop in the town of Joshua Tree.  Then off to the library to use the free internet and browse magazines.  We finish the day in a cafe playing cards for hours on end.

Back at camp we make dinner, then retreat to our tents to bundle up in our sleeping bags and read.  I have a huge mug of strawberry vanilla tea and some chocolate.  I set the chocolate on top of the insulated mug to soften it a bit.  The chocolate melts and runs into the tea.  So now I have strawberry, chocolate and vanilla tea.  Neapolitan Tea!  Excellent.

1/13  Temperatures at camp are in the teens when we wake.  Most of our water is frozen.  We head to Indian Cove in the north central section of the park.  It is 2500' lower than Hidden Valley and therefore a bit warmer.  Even in Indian Cove, temperatures start the day below freezing, but the day warms to around 40F.  We climb at Feudal Wall, where we are in the sun and out of the wind all day long.  Excellent choice!  So in those conditions climbing in just lightweight polypro is comfortable.

Kenny and I start the day on The Mikado (5.6) while Aramy and Kristin start on Crown Jewels (5.7).  We cruise up our climb and scramble down the descent while Aramy and Kristin struggle a bit more.  We later learn that a hold has broken on Crown Jewels and it now goes at 5.9- (much to Aramy's surprise).  He admirably leads the climb, but it isn't the warmup he expects.

After that, Kenny gets his first trad lead on Route 1326 (5.2) and we take the opportunity to scout the approach to Coyote in the Bushes (5.10a sport).  I take to calling this climb a Canadian 5.10 (get it?  5.10 eh?) which I think is just the funniest joke to be told this millennium.  Why am I so weird?  Anyhow, we all take turns on Coyote in the Bushes and everyone gets it cleanly.  Fun climb, good bolt spacing (though the short fall if you miss the first bolt is nasty), highly recommended.  After that, I follow Kenny's lead of Crown Jewels -- a pretty stiff climb for a second ever trad lead -- and he sends it easily.

The sun drops behind Short Wall early and Feudal Wall is in the shade by 4pm.  Shade = Cold.  We head to town and buy some ice cream.  Ice Cream = Cold, but a tasty kind of cold.  Then back to camp for dinner and cards.

1/14  Still cold.  Back to Feudal Wall we go.  Kristin and I start the day with Duchess (5.6) as a warmup.  Aramy and Kenny start on Duchess Right (5.7).  Kristin makes short work of the first pitch and then leads the awkward squeeze chimney on the second pitch.  Meanwhile Aramy suffers yet another warmup sandbag as Duchess Right turns out to be a flaring horror-fest.  Luckily, Aramy has Kenny -- now in his second day of trad climbing -- who sends the nasty pitch.

After that warmup, we are on to the main event for the day.  Monaco, 5.11b sport.  Five bolts, plus small cams down low protecting the moves up to the first bolt.  This is Joshua Tree face climbing at its finest.  I want this climb and call dibs on the first lead.  Hard moves right off the ground lead to a nice horizontal where I can get two small cams.  Then balance and friction to the first bolt.  Above the first bolt even more dicey balance moves lead to easier ground.  Second bolt, third bolt and fourth bolt go easily.  I'm VERY happy to make it this far onsight.  Above the fourth bolt is the killer move.  Two tiny crimps and no feet moving up to only slightly better crimps and one slick edge for the right foot.  I fall several times and have to reclimb the difficult moves from the fourth bolt.  Deciding that isn't going to get me anywhere, I crimp my left as hard as I'm able and make a scary clip on the fifth bolt well over my head.  Without even grabbing the draw!  Very bold for me.  Now I can work the final moves on toprope.  Just before running out of energy, I derive a sequence that works for me and finish the climb.  It isn't pretty, but I'm happy.  And completely done for the day.

Everyone else gets a go at Monaco.  Then we head back to camp to eat dinner.

And play cards.  Of course we play cards.

1/15  We have a full day of bouldering planned for today.  Like good bouldering punks, we sleep late.  It is cold.  Barely tolerable in the sun and frigid in the shade.  We boulder around the West Outback Area in Hidden Valley.  We start with some V0 and V1 warmups:  Dino's Egg, Platypus and Chuckawalla.  Then we try harder stuff.  Kenny sends Stoney Point Problem (V3) and Aramy and I work the problem while Kristin basks in what sun she can find.  Meanwhile, Kenny works Yabba Dabba Doo (V6).  After that we work some V2s near the Iron Door Cave.  Kenny sends one wearing one sock and one tennis shoe.

After this we head to Scatterbrain (V6) which Kenny had worked on the 11th.  It is in the shade and very cold.  Apparently that is a good sending temperature because Kenny sends this problem after just a half dozen tries.  His first V6!

We have to get out of the shade and back into the sun.  We walk to Asteroid Belt, behind Cyclops Rock.  Here we find The Boxer Problem (V2), Xylophone (V2) and Fishbait (V1) all in the sun.  These problems are polished from years of use and at least one full grade harder than their rating.  Or we are tired and cold.  Anyhow, nobody can climb anything.  Even Kenny falls off the V1 a few times before getting bored with it.  To redeem his honor, Kenny onsights Undertow (V3) and we head back to camp to eat dinner.

After dinner we are all cold and tired, but it is too early for bed.  So we drive to town and our favorite cafe to play cards.  We stay until the cafe closes then head back to camp and retire for the night.

1/16  As we break down our tents, there is still snow on the ground from snowfall four days ago.  It has been a cold trip.  We pack camp quickly and load the car with all our gear.  We drive to Indian Cove for our last day of climbing.  First order of business is finding Moosedog Tower, which turns out to be pretty easy even though the campsites have been renumbered (Moosedog is supposed to be behind #91 according to our book, but it is really behind #83).  Kristin and Aramy go to climb Lucky Charms (5.7) while Kenny and I scope out Direct South Face.  At 5.9, this is the hardest trad lead I've ever attempted in Joshua Tree.  It is a fun line right up the center of Moosedog.  Most of the climbing is 5.easy, but the move out from under the big roof is really hard.  I build a belay anchor and move back and forth from a stance to the roof for about 10 minutes.  After tiring myself with this pointless activity, I pull the roof and move up to the belay.  I'd say that one move is solid 5.10b, but it is very well protected.  Kenny follows and then I lead a long, easy, unprotected pitch to the top.  We reach the top about the same time as Kristin and Aramy.  The four of us take a group photo and do a single rope rappel down the back side.

Next we eat lunch and drive to Jailhouse Rock.  I follow Kristin up Cellbound (5.5) which is not exactly a stellar climb, but is certainly better than staying on the ground.  Aramy and Kenny climb a 5.7 to the left of us.  We all reach the top and walk off, ending the climbing portion of our trip.

We drive to Palm Springs and after much wandering get a cheap room in a Motel 6 (not that Motel 6, the other Motel 6).  We all take a much needed shower.  I even have a completely clean set of clothing to wear!  We have a nice meal at California Pizza Kitchen, which actually costs more than the hotel room.  Then we play cards while Aramy impresses us with his encyclopedic knowledge of the Back to the Future movie trilogy.

1/17  We wake early and drive to Phoenix so Kenny and I can catch our flight.  But not early enough... we completely forget about the time zone change between Palm Springs and Phoenix, and we are left rushing so that Kenny and I don't miss our planes.  We do both make it to the gates in the nick of time.  However, I am separated from my peanut butter.  The TSA screener -- heroically protecting liberty and freedom -- confiscates my peanut butter.  Even though it isn't an aerosol, liquid or gel (I'm pretty sure it is technically a suspension).  He doesn't even see the humor in the situation.  As I laugh at the absurdity of the danger represented by peanut butter, he tells me "This Is No Joke, Sir" in the the sort of tone you would use to tell someone they had cancer.  Of course it is a joke!  Peanut butter!  Creamy peanut butter, not even the more dangerous crunchy variety!  I'm pretty sure the 300lb. TSA screener just forgot his lunch and couldn't stand the thought of dipping into his fat reserves.

But I do manage to board my flight.  Where I have another hilarious encounter with what passes for security in America.  The flight attendants twice announce that passengers must use the lavatory in the cabin where they are seated.  To use a lavatory in another cabin is a violation of federal law.  No kidding?  Here I'm thinking that federal law is reserved for things like interstate kidnapping and stock market fraud.  Turns out that using the hoity-toities in first class will also land you in a federal pen.  Now, I'm not a lawyer, but I'm pretty darn sure that there is no federal law covering airplane toilets!  What they probably meant is that there is a federal law prohibiting interfering with an airline crew's duties.  And since they claim that it is their duty to maintain toilet apartheid, the law applies.  Now I'm still a bit steamed about the peanut butter incident, and I've got nothing else to do on the flight, so I become a nuisance (big surprise).  When a flight attendant passes, I ask for more details about the federal toilet law.  I make sure the tone of my question has just the right mix of mocking and derision.  The flight attendant -- heroically protecting liberty and freedom, while serving 6oz cups of apple juice -- is not amused.  "This Is No Joke, Sir" he tells me in the exact same cancer diagnosis tone used by the TSA screener (they must have attended the same training).  The flight attendant goes on to tell me that the first class toilets are right up against the cockpit, and foreigners -- foreigners mind you! -- have been caught disassembling lavatory panels in an attempt to reach the flight deck.  So let me get this straight... airline security... is based on the premise... that terrorists... will never... ever... buy a first class ticket?   Arrrrrrgh!!!!  Idiots!  The world is filled with idiots!  And let me be perfectly clear on this one point:  I do not feel safer!

In the end, I do manage to reach Chicago without being busted by the feds.  After boarding the plane for Syracuse they announce that the flight is overweight and they need one volunteer to take a flight 3 hours later.  They offer a $250 flight voucher and a $20 airport meal voucher.  "Sold!" I shout from the back of the plane.  I grab my backpack and trot down the aisle saying "$250!  Sweet!" to the appreciative laughter of my former fellow passengers.  Or maybe it was nervous laughter.  If the plane really was overweight, kicking my scrawny butt back into the terminal probably didn't make much of a difference.  After ten days of traveling and climbing in the cold, my belly was concave.  But it sure was a great ten days.